Score: 10

"I too have cancer..."

submission: Kancer

date: March 23, 2008

and this lovely little film has helped me too finally muster to courage to let the world know! I HAVE CANCER!

Thank you, Timlingins Frommeyer-san, for without your love and care I'd be a hollow shell of a man locked in an eternal war with my own soul and desires to be a free and open spirit. No more though, no more.

Score: 8

"That video"

submission: 2girls1cup Mario Reaction

date: March 20, 2008

makes me so horny, even now.

I love that you did a little FBF on that blood there. As you know, I'm bored with sprites these days. Bored to death. But it was just fine for what it was, so I'm not going to mark you down, THIS TIME FOO!

Score: 10

"I'm an average NG user."

submission: In The Jungle Of Rot

date: March 19, 2008

I'm pretty stupid and I hate thinking. My favourite things are explosions, blood, and Mario farting. Seeing as how this didn't have any of those, and I'm far to dull witted to give any thought to this at all, I'm afraid I have to vote 0!

Yeah, anyway, I loved it. It wasn't much, but I kept me happy and interested for a few minutes which is more than I can say for alot of things these days.

Score: 10

"Another ConAir masterpiece."

submission: The TV Commercial

date: March 11, 2008

Wow, first off, I get special thanks? Haha that's awesome. It's great to finally see this reach fruition. I've been waiting, as you kow.

It may be weird, because your jokes are so simple, but think your probably the most hands down hilarious guy on NewGrounds. Just like Small Talk, this is the essence of life captured, and it's funnier than you'd think.

Anyway, it was brilliant. The fish eye view was off, but it wasn't bad enough to detract from the film.

Great work, my friend.

Score: 10

"Pure Genius!"

submission: Orange Rhymes

date: March 7, 2008

As short as it is, it shouldn't be a second longer. This is absolutely perfect in every way. Not a single complaint from me. NOT ONE.

This is possibly the most positive review I've ever written. This is up there with the genius of ConAir!

Score: 10

"Here it is, finally!"

submission: Alex Seryoua: Episode I

date: March 7, 2008

I've been eagerly anticipating this release. It's easily your best work to date. Really good direction to it and the atmosphere works very well.

The transition from the commotion of the facility to the dead silence of the moon surface is simply perfect. I could have asked for a better moment. Despite how odd it is, the jpeg image of the Earth rather than the drawing actually delivers a really nice effect I find. It really drive the distance and absurdity of her situation home. I like that about it.

My only complaints are they really stiff and flat character animation on Alex. The tweens are very, well, tweeny and lack personality or drive to make her feel like an actual person. She seems like a character the way it is right now, and not someone to sympathize with.

So yeah, the big thing to work on for me for the next installment is to get down and work out yuor character animation so that it is much more fluid and dynamic. One of the most important aspects to animation people is for their personality to be in their body language. Just like live-action acting, your animated characters too best convey themselves as really people with personalities and life.

Still, for everything else, I'm slapping a 10 onto this.

Score: 4

"I sure didn't like this!"

submission: Smash Kingdom Melee

date: March 7, 2008

I admit, I shouldn't be watching this at all, because I hate Flash with stolen art and stolen characters, but oh well, I watch everything JUST IN CASE I'm surprised and like it.

I wasn't though, sadly. First off these ridiculous ripped-off sprites have to go. If you MUST use sprites, please for the love of God at least make your own. Blurry highly pixelated images of someone else's copyrighted work simply don't do a thing for me. SORRY!

Secondly, the voice acting was terrible. It all just sounded like some teenager in his room trying so hard to be wacky and cool. It sounded like acting, instead of sounding like an actual person, which is how it should sound.

Finally, the jokes, none of them, were new, unique, creative, or funny in the slightest. I wouldn't say any of them were "bad" but if I wanted these kinds of jokes I'd just subject myself to the torture of watching Wild Hogs again.

Alvin-Earthworm was already blacklisted for me because of his absolute garbage Mario Bros Z series, but now I'm going to be skeptical about clicking on Andrew Raskin and Patrick TeNyenhuis' future cartoons as well.

I guess this just wasn't for me. I prefer quality, I suppose, over being a prostitute and whoring myself out through video game references to get a high score.

This is Ryan Carell, SIGNING OUT!

Score: 9

"Pretty cool!"

submission: NGTTXII Failed Edition

date: February 28, 2008

I enjoyed it quite a bit. Neat, trippy, strange, weird and fun. There were alot of good entries for that Trial, so it was tough, but this is awesome all the same.

Score: 1

"I think that I just watched the worst thing on NG."

submission: Surface

date: February 21, 2008

I can honestly say that this is the worst submission I have ever seen on this website. I'd rather watch an hour long sprite movie of Mario farting than watch this again.

Breakdown:

Art: It was generic, boring, and poorly rendered. This is was the most bland and blatantly unoriginal Anime attemp I've yet seen. It's like you didn't even try at all to draw from yourself. Every one of these looked like they could be traces directly from some terrible 4Kids Anime import. Pokemon and so forth. The worst possible Anime drawing style, and even worse than that, it wasn't even your own. The shading was sloppy and gray and lacked any point of interest. It'd didn't pop, it didn't add to the volume of the drawings; it was just there, horrifying my eyes.

Advice: Stop animating for a while. I mean a long time here. Buy a sketchbook, and go out into the world and just draw. Draw everything you see. Draw people, draw buildings, draw you room, draw fruit in your kitchen. Start going to lifedrawing classes and sessions. Go to art classes and learn some advanced colour theory. Just take some time to learn what art is all about. Right now it looks like you saw some show on TV and then jumped right onto your PC and mimiced with without any thought.

Animation: Well, to be honest, there was none. Everything I saw was just a bunch of still images floating around the screen without any weight or physical presence at all. It was like you just drew a background, then drew a character and went. "Welp. my work is done here. Next scene!" If you're going to get into animation like this, at least do some ANIMATING.

Advice: Hop around the internet a bit and look at some in depth animation tutorials. Learn about stretch and squash. Exaggeration. Inbetweening. Posing. It's right now that you haven't got a clue what actual animation is. Or if you do, then you ignored all the principles in favour of being lazy.

Direction: This was a step up from the rest at least. I'm glad that you at least tried to be interesting with your 'camera' work. Unfortunately, all the angles felt forced and were jarring rather then helpful to the atmosphere. You looked like you couldn't make up your mind where to put the camera so even couple seconds you'd suddenly switch to some brand new angle where the proportions of the room and character would completely change.

Advice: Keep it simple for now. You don't need to be David Fincher here. Insanity in the way your present your scenes isn't mandatory. John Singleton directs movies just fine and his camera work is totally pedestrian. Learn how to make a simple and plain scene interesting first. Start with the basics, and don't get ahead of yourself.

Story: It was mildly interesting, and I like that you didn't reveal it all at once. The mystery was nice. But it also felt like you were trying way to hard to be mysterious and you forgot that your characters are people that need to exist as something more than a simple place holder to further the plot.

Advice: Take some time to plan out your entire story, for every episode, from beginning to end. Work out all the kinks in the plot. Then develop all your characters fully. I mean it all. Backgrounds, attitudes. Determine how they would all react in any possible situation. If it helps, draw sheet after sheet filled with your characters in all sort of dramatic poses with all sort of expressions. Really explore who they all are as people.

Dialogue: This was the worst part about this submission for me. Ever single line was just plain stupid and unrealistic. No one talks the way you wrote these lines. They all sound like robots desperately grasping at some futile attempt to be human. It makes no sense. The situations in the film are absurd and the writing should reflect it.

Advice: Get someone else to write the dialogue, you're sadly no good at it, and I don't think any amount of practice will help.

Music: It was fine. Suiting and built a nice atmosphere. No complaints.

Voice Acting: This was horrifying. The second worst part. No a single well delivered line.

Advice: Recast totally

Score: 1

"Foamy complains about his creator."

submission: : Indie Film :

date: February 21, 2008

That's what I just watched, I swear to God.

I miss the days when you made quality and funny cartoons instead of repetitive rants about things everyone has said a hundred times before.

BTW! Neat traced bitmap background. Congratulations.